Adrian's blog

7 Months on

2011-06-29T14:58:00.001+08:00

Its 7 months on and well, I'm still single but I'm able to control my emotions better. That's a good thing. More positive and upbeat now.

Stuck in church

2011-02-26T20:48:00.002+08:00

I guess this is one of those times that I actually have time to blog and twitter. As usual, stuck in church after spending time with the kids. Its been quite a while. Most of my time is taken with them anyway.

Dear God

2010-11-12T07:19:00.002+08:00

I can't take this any longer or can I? I'm sick and tired of being unattached for so long and yet doing Your work happily with my free time. Its not that i'm not happy training my kids or rather Your kids which You gave to me to train. I guess perhaps they are there for me to do Your work first and also to company me so that I won't be that lonely. We both know that however, I can't stay this way forever, or can I? I guess Your plans are best in the end because You know what's happening and what's gonna happen. Its a big picture thing which I'm only a small but perhaps important person, or am I? You can take me away and replace me anytime but yet right now You choose to use me. I am honoured dear God, I really am. Like Job, I really hope I can be like him, You give and take away but my heart will choose to say, "Lord Blessed be Your Name".

Oh and yeah I kinda like her. but I'm unsure if she's a Christian or not. but if these feelings are not from You. please take them away. I wanna get to know her better as a friend though. so that i can bring her to You. Help me flee the devil and temptation. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Thank You Lord. Amen.

A mother's love

2010-10-27T01:42:00.003+08:00

Someone texted me about her child recently. I thanked her for ferrying her son around and she replied me with this. "Its a mother's duty". I think perhaps lets just thank all our dads as well for their version of love. At times, its tough love but its still love.

Video killed the radio star and other stuff

2010-10-23T21:30:00.003+08:00

Ok, I'll be the first to admit that I usually have repetitive statements and titles. I'm too lazy to think of any good titles so I just use the first one that comes to my mind for my blog posts.

Catherine texted me today. She had a new youtube video that she posted up and wanted me to see it. I was quite mean rather in my texts. Just replying k and working. Well I was! and I hate replying when i'm tied up in the middle of something, my mom gets it too so don't worry you're not the first one who gets it. haha.

Ok that's bad. Rose Chua said that I do get on people's nerves at times. i.e. Emo. haha. oops. Maybe I should smile more. Then again Darren Choo is saying that I don't get involved in anything at all so its about time I got involved again.

Aiyah, then how? Seok says that I can't take stress so best not to get too involved. I guess its all about balance. but more importantly its what God wants you to do. So just fast and pray and seek Him. simple as that. only 3 things to do.

ok time to sleep. hahahaha. continuing this post from few days back at night before bed while waiting for laptop to charge hahaha.

Good vs Bad vs Worse

2010-10-21T06:26:00.002+08:00

Some things in life are good, Some things in life are bad. But what happens when you have to make a choice of bad vs worse? I guess most of us are not faced with that choice. Most of us do not have to make the choice of bad vs worse and I pray that we may never have to.

What about those of us who have to? Like in the case of divorce. Marriage is a good thing isn't it? Then why do you have to divorce? I won't go into the details but its an example of bad vs worse.

What about a failing business you've built up with your friends. Close friends and you have everyone you know supporting you. Do you just cut it off or carry on? Its bad enough to cut it off because you've invested so much time and money in it but is it worse to carry on? Will you succeed if you carry on? When all signs point into a no direction, its just better to choose the bad and cut your losses instead of moving into a downward spiral.

What about a bad decision made at work to take on a certain customer or program in a certain way or some other technical decision. Bad vs Worse.

Think about it. =)

Its always better to choose bad even if you don't think it that way.

Thoughts are courtesy of Mr. OYP who was talking to me about this subject. I just decided to expand on it and put it into words.

Mouth working faster than brains

2010-10-18T21:56:00.003+08:00

Don't we all have the above problem? I do a lot of times especially when i'm extremely opinionated about people or things. Just today, I let my mouth use the talking and without thinking. I think I owe her an apology. best to apologise first if I know I'm in the wrong even if the other party doesn't know it. But then again, wait a minute, if I tell her I'm in the wrong, what happens, she'll just perhaps scold me and not be my friend for life. haha. However, thinking about it after a night's sleep, "Be a man, do the right thing".

I guess that's the hardest thing to do isn't it? Everyone in this day and age just do not want to take responsibility for the things they should or they can. Most of us just want to lead free and easy lives without a care in the world.

I'm unsure how things will work out in the end but I'm hopeful because there are people who can make a difference in the world after all. I know some of them and I'm proud to be one I guess. =)

All of us can make a difference in the world. We just have to try.

Something

2010-10-16T11:21:00.003+08:00

Something in the way she moves. Well it moves rather, I love computers. I don't really know how I live a day without them. I've tried it once, It was hard but it was good to be cut off from everyone for once really haha.

I don't know if I'm a real hacker but I hope to be one someday. Nothing else but technology, just keep hacking at it. Its pretty fun. But I'm not the adventurous type I guess. I prefer things to be the way they are at times. I was reading "Bleach" manga the other day when Aizen asks Urahara, "Why does a person of your calibre sit still with the knowledge and power you have?" The answer was that "Some things are just not meant to be changed.

Perhaps I'm like Urahara.I prefer to move at times though. When I move, I guess its something big. Otherwise, I'll just sit back and relax and do my own stuff. i.e. You don't bother me, I don't bother you.

If I bother you, it must be something important.

ok. next post is on doing nothing and doing something.

somehow there's just much to write now.

2010-10-13T23:49:00.003+08:00

Just like the title about says. Well, this is my 2nd blog post in 1 hour. I'm so unsure of myself and like LLZH said, the only way is through prayer. I was telling MP that this is the first time I've been so unsure of myself and well I guess worried about leading worship. I've never been so strange before. I don't have songs at all before I lead worship and the songs I...

I just can't put it into words. Father God. Help me, You're my only hope, my source of strength, my source of hope is Christ alone. =)

In Christ alone, I place my trust
And find my glory in the power of the cross
In every victory, let it be said of me
My source of strength, my source of hope
Is Christ alone.

They don't really care about us

2010-10-13T23:15:00.004+08:00

I was reading about the strikes in France on the Internet and I do have something to say about it. C'mon, stop being slackers and live off government pension. The government has realised the mistake of their predecessors and are doing something about it to make a difference for the next generation. Stop being selfish. Its only 2 years more of work from 60 to 62. We here in Singapore are working until we die so what about you guys. You just wanna stay and enjoy life at the expense of the next generation. You say that we don't care about you but what about you. You don't care about us at all. Sometimes, people might see that the decisions made right now are bad ones but looking back at history those decisions were necessary. Just like PM Lee's lau pei. I don't like him but I damn respect him. He the man ok? He the man. ok enough blabbering for now. I do hope someone comes across this post and reads it and sends hate mail to me and comments on it. It'll be more fun that way but those are my views and its the way I like it. too bad if you don't.

ok well, sorry for the rude language in the previous paragraph, it was just used to make a point, a living metaphor. Just like mind your language, haha. ok. I was watching it back then. ok time to sleep. so much to do but so little time. horrible right?

But rest is important too. its more important than anything else. :) so yeah. I am resting now. wake up early tomorrow to finish some more stuff but now sleep.

Well a quick edit or add to this post. "WE DIDN'T START THE FIRE, IT'S BEEN ALWAYS BURNING SINCE THE WORLD'S BEEN TURNIN"
HAHA listening to Billy Joel now. heheheheh ahahah hoho. still as relevant back then as the song is I guess. oops not everyone thinks that way. hahaha.

A new one

2010-10-11T10:46:00.003+08:00

Well, an old burden has been lifted off my shoulders. A new one has come but I believe that God will not let me down. =) It is a relief after all this time to finally settle it I guess. I guess I'm the sort who doesn't let go until I bring things to a conclusion. Whether it is a good one or bad one, there must be conclusion. It might not be the way I want it but it has to conclude. Perhaps its a good thing as well bringing a conclusion to what one started. Mummy always says, "When you start something, it must have an ending." Typical chinese saying, "Don't no head no tail." haha. ok that's my mom and those are my parents speaking. Sometimes I feel its them speaking through me. but that's another story for another time. ciao.

Sitting down to talk

2010-10-08T07:55:00.002+08:00

Ok well, sitting down in front of the computer and talking rather. CZ(C)JL and I finally sat down and spoke about stuff in a long while. I think its the longest conversation we ever had. It was really an unabashed, no holds barred talk which led us to show the real us in front of each other for the first time.

I'm glad we had that. At least we understand each other as friends much more now. =) Of that I'm glad. ADEC's right, I'm surrounded by many friends who love me and I should take comfort in that. Friends and not acquaintances or those who just wanna hop on the bandwagon. Real friends I have. =)

And that's good. I should try to make it a point to have these talks with others whenever we have the time. Its a good thing and allows you to get to know each other as friends better. =) hahaha. ok i'm late. off to work now.

haiz not again

2010-10-07T22:55:00.003+08:00

haiz. I just did something stupid twice in a row again. I texted something stupid to someone I shouldn't have and I messaged over gchat something to someone I shouldn't have.

I think I should learn how to trust my gut instinct more like now. Its usually right, when you get the gut feeling that something is usually wrong just don't do it.... but then again, sometimes it'd worked out for the better. I don't know, I'm just the go with the flow guy but my own flow and not yours.

I do think about things but then again I always go with the flow too, its kinda in between. always sitting on the fence without any suggestions which is quite bad really but then again I do have my own principles. So what am I? Adrian I guess. being me and just myself who I am and uniquely the way I'm made. not anyone else.

that sounded like so me my and I and myself. super super selfish ain't it? sigh. being me is so difficult. Its not easy to be me. ok I'm just randomly posting now and it sounds so weird. mad mad mad mad world.

My brain's in a mess and there's nothing that will solve it unless I get the answer. what are emotions.

I spoke with a friend today..

2010-10-07T13:06:00.004+08:00

I was speaking with JQ over MSN today. We were sharing with each other about how our lives had progressed and stuff and somehow the topic came to her being discouraged. I then gave her a post from my blog on how a little deed one does can change the lives of others.

That got us talking about my blog and how I should update it, it does encourage people. I've made a difference through my blog more than I realise and perhaps it is time I should update it on a regular basis again. There's so little time and little things to write about now though.

Then again, I'll let it flow naturally. Its the best way I guess. =) Try not to interrupt the natural flow of things unless really necessary. =) Rock the boat you can but don't sink it and try not to have anyone over board.

Those are my thoughts for today.

Thanks JQ. I have a post for my blog again. haha. =)

Food for thought #2

2010-09-21T04:29:00.002+08:00

Well its been a while. That's my favourite line to start a blog I guess because I really post once in a while. I've decided to just quit the game and stop whining. It'll come to me when it eventually comes. I've also decided to start being concerned about people for a change out of love rather than a sense of duty. No point texting someone that you care for them when you don't.

One of the few people I've never stopped thinking about, praying about and caring about is M. N to a certain extent. hmm M & N. hahahaha. (I've decided to start just being me too and not try to be who I'm not.)

I've always had a soft spot for M since she's a girl and I've always treated her like a little one but she's now 21 so yeah. All grown up now. She's not talking to me ever again I think but yeah, I'm used to it. (People not talking to me ever again). Kinda sad right? Maybe its me, too OCD and controlling at times, she just needs her freedom yeah? My favourite student without a doubt or rather the one I always have a soft spot for. In fact, I do have a soft spot for all of them, always defending them. haha and still thinking that they are kids.

I'm always wanting to do stupid things with them, I mean fun things rather but the only thing I know how to do is to play guitar so yeah that's the best way I can express myself anyway, I've got to learn how to express myself in other ways I guess. That's what I've been saying for the longest time but I haven't found a way so far.

MS, N have finished officer cadet school and are being posted or are already posted to their units. JH is overseas on student exchange and EP is going to be overseas for students for the next 3 years.

Which leaves me all alone again and having to train up new people for the music team. oh yeah, KC (bassist) and TL are still around, so is JT and SH so that means i'm not that bored after all. I still have them to irritate me and be irritated. At times I think old people are just small kids who need attention too. =) haha.

I've been playing the part of an Uncle lately. I guess perhaps like the bible says taking care of kids when their dads are not around and helping their wives do stuff. I like carrying their kids and holding their hands while crossing the road. I love pacifying them too when they can't find their parents and they stay with me for a while waiting for their parents. yeah. yup.

ok. I'd love to write more right now but TF is waiting for me to go over to his place. So I've gotta go take a shower. (I haven't showered since last night. haha) yup. Its a 1 hour train ride after the shower.

Hannah and Naomi

2010-07-03T06:43:00.002+08:00

Ok well, I'm obsessive compulsive so I guess H must come before N even though Naomi's older than Hannah by a few seconds or minutes. I never bothered to ask actually. sheesh. Horrible Uncle Adrian right? I carried Naomi last Saturday by chance. It was the first or well second rather time that I've carried a baby but its the first time I feel all warm and cuddly inside carrying one. I love it when they laugh and smile at you. and I love it too when they cry and you wipe their tears away. The easy part is that I'm not their parents so I guess that just makes me a Sunday Uncle. but then again perhaps I'll play a part in them growing a few years from now. That's what I'm good at (I hope). =) hehe.

until then, I'll limit myself to playing with babies and carrying then when needed. hahaha.

Food for thought #1

2010-07-02T04:23:00.002+08:00

I guess perhaps I got inspired by the show Marley and Me. I should write a "column" about everyday things. haha. anyway, here's the first one.

Going through life as an outsourced IT vendor, you really need lots of stuff that people don't see when you just sit down at your customers' office and just observe and listen while you do your work. Lately, I've discovered two types of people.

1) If we spend this amount of money, although its for the good of the company, it'll affect my bonus, so we can't spend it.

2) If we spend this amount of money, although it'll affect my bonus, it's for the good of the company, so let's go ahead and spend it.

I honestly no matter what, don't bite the hand that feeds you. Even if you don't like the company, part on good terms. What you sow, you reap.

If you sow forgiveness, you will be forgiven in return. If you sow bitterness, I guess everyone will be bitter towards you. Life runs in circles.

That's why I gave the two choices. The first choice, no matter how you look at it is a selfish choice. That's why companies do not progress and do not contribute to society.

Its because they are out to make money. Money is a driving factor but should not be the main one behind doing what you do. I believe that what we do in work should contribute to society.

That is why the Chinese words for business is 生意. Loosely translated, it means meaning in life. The work that you do, needs to have meaning in life. A meaning in your life and meaning for the life of others. If the work that you do has no meaning for you, well I guess perhaps if you could find one, it would be good.

It is sad that most people nowadays work for money and not believe that their work takes on a higher meaning. I re-iterate; That is the main reason why companies fail and society does not progress.

Part 2 next week I guess. Balance in life. =) see ya all.

Loneliness

2010-05-16T06:32:00.003+08:00

I read today during one of the few times I really have time to read the bible now. Actually, I've was reading a devotional from "Our Daily Bread". It says about hiding God's Word in your heart.

I remember that DC used to make us memorize one verse every week. "I have hidden Your Word in my heart that I might not sin against You."

Over these past months, I've learnt a lot about myself. To put it more correctly, God has revealed the truth about who I really am to me. One thing is that I'm a really lonely person and that I'll do anything just not to be alone.

Today

2010-05-09T22:51:00.003+08:00

Today was one of my favourite days. We were playing in Chinese ministry and we could really feel each other. All the familiar oldies came back haha. It was like rebooting all over again. I think my playing went up another level again. I can actually play the guitar solos in harmony properly (well sort of) with the singer's voice now. It really adds another dimension cus' its like a third person singing.

Praise God so much for it. I finally understand what it means to really play for the Lord or rather I get to understand more and more each time I play because He shows me more things. =).

Dream for the Lord, Stay hungry, stay foolish. One day, the Lord will grant you the desires of your heart if its in line with His will. =)

I started saying I love you to lots of people today. Just wanted them to know how much I loved them before I miss the chance to say that I honestly love them lots. I started by just communicating via msn. haha.

A lot of testimonies were shared today which I guess showed how much the Lord has grown in our lives and the lives of other people. =) Its just so cool to see how much He has touched the lives of the members in chinese congregation.

Yep. ok signing off. see ya all. hehehe. =)

Salt and Light

2010-04-23T05:32:00.002+08:00

I'm supposed to be preaching on the topic of salt and light tomorrow but I haven't really prepared anything yet. Somehow, I don't feel flustered or anything. I should be cus' its a difficult topic to share about unless your life has really been that way. Then again, anything is difficult to share about if your walk with God is not right.

I guess God has been preparing me and refining me to share about this topic as I've really got many opportunities to be salt and light to the world this week. Its really cool. Yeah. ok back to work.

He knows and still cares

2010-04-22T05:06:00.002+08:00

One of my favourite psalms is Psalm 139. We sing it in Chinese service all the time. Its sort of the all time classics which our worship leaders like to choose.

Its been evident in my life when I look back. I cannot help but wonder how God cares for us even to such details. Even the time I wake up to the time I finish working. If I finish too late, He knows and has already made arrangements to things such as bus times.

Even the amount of time I sleep is somehow just enough to get me through the day which He has already planned for me. All we need to do is just to trust and obey. It is that simple.

Thank you God for caring so much for me even up to such details. You care. Thanks man. I mean God. oops. bad habit. Anyway, I shall leave you all now with Psalm 139.

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.

19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Exciting Times

2010-04-13T07:23:00.004+08:00

3 years ago, God brought me to this church. I guess there were times that i was disheartened but I guess that was just the process of growing up and being refined. To be honest, I've never looked back. There are people I miss but most of them are no longer there too. Some of us still keep in touch, the rest of us are either gone or missing in action.

I'm extremely honoured and proud to be part of God's masterplan in the current church I'm in. I guess a lot of people are coming to see the beauty of the Lord. 3 years ago, when I first came. I was part of God's plans to help grow a ministry. Right now, I'm part of His plans to help grow a congregation.

I pray that we will stand on His promises and trust and obey Him.

"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

I pray that the work will continue as it has. As CP said, "SEE? In God's timing". Connecting the dots, I guess everything that i've learnt over the past years and went through would be all leading up to this point. =)

And whatever I'm going through now would be leading up to something else that's greater for me in future.

V said this, Adrian, if you will open your heart further to the Lord, my sense is that God hasn't finished yet and you will behold even more of His blessings, anointing, and amazing grace and love....

You're a great friend to have in the Kingdom and while I agree that even the smallest part is tremendous in God's eyes, I know He has greater plans for you and its not going to stop at what we've witnessed...

I guess its sort of a confirmation of what God has for me in near future. =)

ok. time for dinner. its 11pm. sheesh.

Blogging at a bus stop

2010-04-09T08:41:00.000+08:00

It's amazing what you can do now with an iPhone. I'm like waiting for D to pick me up cus he's late......

So I decided to blog. Finally have some time to sit down a while and blog haha.

Unsure what to write about though. So many songs of praise in my heart today. May they continue no matter what happens.

Just texted L n M n J to work on the next prayer meeting worship. I guess it's time to slowly pass things on to the next generation who will definitely surpass us. But we've gotta be there for them to guide them.

I'm glad that all of them are growing both musically n spiritually.

Many more generations to go though. Slowly n steady. Never rush.

Ok. D is finally here...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friends

2010-03-26T10:00:00.000+08:00

I like my iPhone. It actually allows me to do personal stuff like blogging on the go. Yes I do not have time for personal stuff. So that's why I try to do personal things on the go like blogging.

Anyway, back to the topic of friends. I was with kc last night. We were discussing about life in general last night in his car. He said my main weakness is that I try to take on too many things at once and always say yes to people.

Yeah I agree with his assessment. I guess the too many things comes from saying yes to everyone.

I have to learn how to say no I guess then. Perhaps I shall start by mass mailing everyone in church. Haha.

Ok. I'm bored now. Gonna fb and yeah, reaching customer's place too.... Haiz hahahaha

Communication of Age

2010-03-16T21:57:00.003+08:00

Communication is essential. Communication is well.. in my case right now, I'm communicating with a little boy of 13 and little girl of 13 over FB. They sound their age for once and they think I'm 19 and look 19....

Well, I attended a course today too and they said I look 19. So I guess I'm 19 then. Not.. I'm 19 plus 9. coming to anyway, the teens think I'm old. So I might as well act my age perhaps.

For a person of my age, I still do stupid things though. Yup. I met Mrs. Lim today. She looks good for her person her age too. Perhaps its the computer science thingy.

Jeremy says I look 26. ok that's when I don't shave and sleep little and wear proper clothing.. I did pull off 19 today cus' I slept, I shaved and I wore my trademark white polo tee and blue jeans with blue sneakers. =D. My favourite outfit. I have 7 of them. hahahahah

ok anyway, time to go. see ya all.

On the way home

2010-03-10T19:48:00.001+08:00

Here I am blogging while I'm on the way home. I was at citylink mall today and boy has it changed. It does bring back a lot if memories for me. The restaurant that Greg, Mayumi and I had desert at after I graduated is no longer there. The hong kong cafe has changed to a Taiwan one. Haha.

Yesterday, it was so fun. I had kids come up and irritate me while I was working. But they are so fun to be with at times. Take a look at 2 of them.

It's been a really good 2 days. :) haha there's just so much joy in kids. But yeah I've never raised them up though so I don't know what it's really like.

The daily bread on Monday was really cool. The story was exactly the one I remembered when I posted on my blog in an earlier post. You can't save them all but it does make a difference in each one's life you saved.

One lesson I've learnt over the years is to never forget where you come from and what brought you your success.

A big thank you to all who helped make me who I am today. All of the memories good and bad. It's ok. :) I love you all.

Remember the Lord your God. I pray that I do not have too much that I forget God and not too little that I may curse at Him.

:)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

God is here

2010-03-02T21:43:00.003+08:00

Tormented in mind and spirit that's how I am right now. I don't know what I want to do or what I should do. A lot of times, I guess we feel that God has left us alone to fend for ourselves. In the end, I guess we're the only ones who are wrong.

God is here always. Its just that we fail to let Him help us or see him in the midst of all our storms. In the midst of everything, I believe that God is always here, we just need to see Him and hold on to Him =)

Take courage my friends. God is here. =)

Proverbs 13:12 - Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

Isaiah 40:28-31

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Being Refined

2010-03-01T02:17:00.003+08:00

Here I am at two twenty in the morning, I just woke up. sheesh. I just finished up the draft of my sermon script today and sent it out to a few people to have a look. Alicern gave me a few ideas to add in. However, I was just thinking of keeping the sermon short and letting the cell group details fill them in on the details.

I'm unsure though about it. I guess there are still two more weeks so its gonna go through a lot more refining and revision before the final copy is given. That's how it is with our lives. We will go through lots of trials and tribulations and be refined until we are the complete product.

I'd like to think that I've mellowed a lot over the years, especially last year and in the previous few months. For example, I no longer lose my temper that often. I do get upset but yeah, I don't lose my temper over trivial matters any longer. I guess perhaps I prefer negotiation and deep thinking about a certain matter now rather than acting on impulses and reacting immediately.

Perhaps the next thing I really need to do is to learn how to shut up at times. I love to talk really so yeah. I need to be able to learn how to listen and keep quiet.

Don't we all at times.

See ya.

For all you've done

2010-02-17T04:44:00.003+08:00

I'm just reading through Hannah's blog and this song that I said was overplayed and oversung in church just came into my head. Somehow, I never get tired of this song somehow, playing and singing it.

The chords and lyrics are really simple but believe you me, getting it together in a band is really difficult. There's just so much truth in these lyrics.

For all You've done

My Saviour, Redeemer
Lifted me from the miry clay
Almighty, Forever
I will never be the same

'Cause you came near
From the everlasting
To the world we live
The Father's only Son

You lived, You died
You rose again on high
You opened the way for the world to live again
Hallelujah for all You've done

A blast from the past

2010-02-16T23:14:00.002+08:00

I met up with a really old friend of mine today. It was really good. It took us 20 years to realise that we've known each other since we were babies. Not that we had any recollection though. My mom showed me some pictures which I showed to her. I guess we both were like "No way!!"

Anyway, the phrase "Young and stupid" came up today several times. i.e. I did this back then, when i was young and stupid. But perhaps at times its good to be young and stupid in a certain sense. If we aren't young and stupid, then perhaps it would be different right now, we do have to allow room for God to grow us and mold us by being "young and stupid" don't we? =)

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
- Jeremiah 29:11.

For the older ones, its our job to guide and mold those who are really "young and stupid" and instruct them in the way that God wants them to go in. Note, not the way that we want them to go in but the way God wants them to grow in. The most important thing is to just be there for them. That's what I've discovered.

It will take a lot of heartache and pain and sacrifice especially but in the end, I guess its all worth it. I love you kids lots ok? =)

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
- Proverbs 22:6

Little child

2010-01-31T22:53:00.002+08:00

Little child, dry your crying eyes. how can I express the fear you feel inside? Well, little one, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on or a big brother to talk to. I'm around. Just let it go and don't let it affect you. Big hugz. =)

btw, you're too heavy to carry around already so don't even think about it... no longer small.... Adrian old liao.. carry things also difficult.

You can't save them all

2010-01-30T03:54:00.003+08:00

I find that I've been blogging again recently. I'm unsure why but perhaps its for the students and many fans who've stopped reading my blog. Perhaps its something for me to do after a long day at work and stuff. I don't know. But anyway, I've been like blogging again recently so yeah.

All right, back to the real deal. A friend told me today that "You can't save them all". I guess he's right but that's not gonna stop me from trying. =) At times, perhaps I act like I don't care but I really do.

I'd be the last person to give up on someone. At least you would know that you've made a difference in that person's life. That's enough. I can't save them all but at least I've tried. Hopefully, someday they'll remember that someone did try to make a difference in their lives.

That doesn't mean that you go all out without a care though. Always remember that there are limits. You're limited in what you can do, you're limited in your own strength. The only reason you can keep going is that there is a higher power pushing you and edging you to help save the person.

But ultimately its a decision that the person has to make, whether he or she wants to be saved.

I can't save them all but that doesn't mean I'm not gonna try, because that small difference is all that matters.

True friends

2010-01-26T18:00:00.002+08:00

In my relatively short life, there have been only a few people who have ever told me off and lost their temper at me for my own good. Someone lost his temper at me today for that very reason. I guess that brought us to a greater understanding of each other. It's good. I'm glad to have found such a friend who bothers enough to tell me off when I'm in the wrong.

To good friends.

Feelings

2010-01-26T09:46:00.003+08:00

Feelings, nothing more than feelings I am telling myself. Perhaps they've always been there. I've known you for so long but yet so short. Its feels as if you're a million miles away but yet as if I've known you forever.

Till then, until we meet again.

Its happier to be happy

2009-11-29T17:00:00.004+08:00

Someone texted this to me today. I guess she's always happy. I don't know. Maybe she has her own problems but yeah. I don't know. I guess its happier to be happy but we should at times care for the feelings of others around us too and not just be happy for ourselves. There's too much artificial people around us. A lot of people are just happy but whether they are truly joyful is a different story altogether. A lot of people are glum and melacholic on the outside but they have fullness of joy inside.

Why do bad things happen to good people and why do good things happen to horrible people. Why do bad guys finish first and nice guys finish last. Its the way of the world. I'm just accepting it. Its always my fault and no one else's even when its theirs. They always win. I always lose. Why God why.

I guess instead of just talking the talk. We should walk the walk as well. Showing kindness to those around us. Some things are never meant to be. We just have to get on with life.

Famit and The band

2009-11-06T05:06:00.002+08:00

I guess its been a year since Famit started. Today's exactly a year. God has seen us through many things. A lot in fact. I guess we wouldn't be where we are now if it weren't for Him. =)

Believing in People

2009-09-27T03:12:00.003+08:00

Don't stop believing in people. Hold on to the feeling. I truly believe that there is a little good in everyone. At times, although there is more bad but no matter how long it takes, I guess we've got to hold on and just keep believing.

Fusion Music in Singapore

2009-08-16T19:43:00.003+08:00

I met someone today who was in the same band as one of my friends in the 90s. Culture Vulture. haha. A truly Singaporean band who started playing fusion music in the 80s preceeding Dick Lee. Anyway, here's one of their videos when they went to Japan to perform in 1992.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AgSW1tFltAI

Appreciating life and people

2009-07-10T08:11:00.004+08:00

Today a really good friend of mine died. He died after his 65th birthday. He was one who appreciated life and people. He would really take care of others and put their needs first. He was the kindest and most generous person I knew. Such was the measure of the man.

I learnt how to appreciate life and people from him. His death came as a sudden shock to all of us close but we know that he is in a better place than we are now. His vacation has ended and he is going home.

He taught me another thing, and that was never to give up hope on people no matter how long. I've tried to do that but its really hard sometimes.

One thing I took away from last night's gathering if you would call it that was this. If you really love someone, show it in your actions. Hopefully, they will respond. If they don't, its ok. You just have to keep on waiting and hoping.

Some Random Thoughts

2009-05-24T14:08:00.002+08:00

All right, I started this post sometime in May, I guess its now July and its time to finish it.

Hypocrisy is worse than anything else. Sad to say, everyone has a little bit of it in us. I have a lot perhaps. Each time you go to class or meet someone, I guess you would have to put on a happy face no matter what so that you don't affect the others.

At times when I go to class, I'm really upset, tired or really angry and disappointed with the students, I guess putting on a brave face does help to encourage them.

Its really disappointing though when you find out that you're not appreciated after all the hard work which you do. A lot of comments in my student reviews left me reeling from the hurt. But as most of my previous students said, you'll be vindicated in the end. Justice will serve its course. I guess the exam would be one good example. I heard that almost everything I made them work hard for and taught came out in the exam. For those who didn't listen or pay attention, I guess life sux.

The hardest thing to do in life

2009-05-16T20:00:00.001+08:00

The hardest thing to do in life would be to keep things simple. But yet, simple can get complicated sometimes. But simplicity is always good. The many things that can come out of simplicity are perhaps numerous. So I guess keeping things simple is always good.

However, there are a lot of times people would like to keep things complicated. When things get complicated they usually get out of hand. Its just like the blues. 3 chords, 5 notes numerous variations. Ok well, I use a lot of blues music to illustrate my points across but it would be easier for me to describe the blues and for you to learn it than for me to use something else I'm not familiar with to bring my point across.

One thing I believe in is complete honesty. Transparency rather. I guess perhaps I learnt that from my past. Lately I've been wondering though how honest and transparent I should be and how many promises am I able to keep. I don't know but I'm still idealistic though at times even though I've been let down, or have let down people so many times that I just don't know what to think any longer.

Give people time and they'll surprise you. It may take years even but they'll get there in His time I guess. =) In the meantime, love them with all your heart, love them with all your strength and encourage them when you can. Its the least you could do for someone you call a friend.

Peace in your heart

2009-05-10T19:52:00.003+08:00

hmm I guess perhaps I'm being a hypocrite by saying that well, I don't have time to send someone email but I do have time to blog. Or rather perhaps its a way of releasing myself. I really don't know if I'm doing the right thing though. Everyone says I am. I decided to just be a friend and let things happen naturally. I mean, I'm not really talking to her at the moment. The day she texted back was a little surprising really. But yeah, as much as I can, I'll try my best not to communicate or text back unless really necessary.

But that doesn't mean that I won't be there for her when she needs me. I guess perhaps that's what i'm best at. I've always wanted to illuminate a room with my presence but perhaps I guess i'm not that type of person. I'm the type who's better at doing things in the dark that people don't see to help them. Of course I don't get appreciated much but well, its ok. As long as one or two people know and understand, I guess that's fine by me.

Its mother's day. well I don't know. I've never really treated my mom right I guess. I mean, I'm thankful for her. not that I'm not but at times she just seems so irritating. I've always told her certain truths. Same goes for my dad. They don't seem to want to believe what I say or hear me out. And even when they are proved to be wrong, they have to drag me down with them. I'm unsure why. Its like hey, I've already told you so mom. so stop whining and get a life. fix the problem. get on with life.

I guess perhaps that's the nature of most people in my life. that's why I can handle them. Most of them are called students.

Back to the blues

2009-05-05T07:35:00.003+08:00

Its been a while since I've really jammed with anyone. The more I play and the more I experiment with other styles of music, I find that I keep coming back to the blues.
Its really more than just another expression but I guess its what allows me to pour out my feelings.

The blues are really all about going back to the basics. Where else can 3 chords and 5 notes make such a big difference and an impact.

Today (Thursday) the band went back to basics with me I guess. We received really good comments and it was really good. Yup. I guess we would all need to go back to basics at times.

Ok well, if you've noticed until this point, yes this is a conglomerate of all the days in the week. i.e. I start blogging on Monday and then continue on Tuesday until right now which is Saturday.

It was a good day today perhaps. I've learnt that no time is really wasted. Everything happens for a reason. I guess today it was for me understanding people more perhaps.

Right now I'm just like downloading all their assignments for marking still. Its a hundred and fifty of them. I'm unsure if I can finish by Monday but I'll try.

One thing I've learnt as well is as the bible says, Better a poor house full of peace than a rich house full of strive. I guess it boils down to simple things like having meals too.

I'm not gonna elaborate further but just remember that a simple meal together as a family in some poor run down place is so much better than an expensive meal at a restaurant that leaves a bad aftertaste and everyone hungry.

Lessons have started again

2009-05-02T19:30:00.002+08:00

Well, its just another day at the office I guess or university rather. Lots of things to do lots of people to meet. I did teach with a different approach today. I do hope that the students understood most of it. I took it really really slow and really tried my best to make sure that they understood each step of the encryption / decryption process for each cipher before carrying on.

I guess that I'm getting more patient too. Perhaps it comes with age. I don't know. I used to be really really impatient with students. I'd lash out at them within 5 minutes. This session its well, different. The high expectations and standards are still there though. I do expect 110% out of all of them.

I've got 3 student committee members in my class. Perhaps I'm trying to apply the same to them as was applied to me when I was council member or rather Orientation Team member in Wollongong. Its really making meaning in the lives of the freshmen when you are in the orientation team. It really is a lot of work though. At the end, there's really sometimes that we're not even appreciated. but all in all, we don't really expect to be, for most of us its really all about having fun and making a difference in their lives.

All in all I guess perhaps teaching is still the job for me. I can't handle young teens or adolescents though perhaps. Young adults would be easier for me. University students in short or perhaps to a certain extent, polytechnic students. Perhaps its not just teaching but making a difference in people's lives. I honestly believe that leadership by example is the best way to lead. A leader goes the way, knows the way, shows the way.

Great leaders are those who have their weaknesses and yet have the courage to acknowledge them and work on them. I guess that's one of the hallmarks of a great leader. A great leader is servant to all those who follow him. A great leader takes care of those and inspires those around him. I guess those to me are hallmarks of great leaders.

Inspire and Ignite.
Adrian.

FamStorIT

2009-04-16T21:33:00.002+08:00

The past few days have been interesting. Our customers are starting to finally make full use of their support hours and have started calling us non-stop. To be fair, there are times when issues start to crop up and we're really needed. Its been really fun and interesting though. As one of our customer's said, "You guys really crack your brains to find creative solutions to our problems."

I guess that's we're all about Famit. =)What I wanna do really is to create solutions to problems that haven't been solved or creating a solution that's already solving people's problems, but we do it a hundred times better. That's my meaning in life now I guess. =)

Ubuntu Releases

2009-04-01T21:53:00.002+08:00

well well well, famit.com.sg is a ubuntu releases mirror now. You can download the latest images from http://www.famit.com.sg/ubuntu-releases. =) hehe. We do have other downloads or rather free software reviews available at http://www.famit.com.sg/freesoftware.html too. =) Do give us a visit!!! hahahah.

yeah that's me advertising blatantly for my own company. Its fun! and its meaningful. Don't do anything demeaningful ok? its bad for health. For the love of money and all things bling bling is good I think.. yes....!!! hahahha

NO LAH YOU STUPID FOOL!!! It bad bad bad bad. For the love of money is the root of all evil!!! So don't love money. its bad bad bad. Do good and meaningful things. That's most important.

Dealing with the pain

2009-03-29T17:15:00.002+08:00

I guess it isn't an easy thing to deal with the pain. Sometimes, the pain will never go away. Most of the time, you just get numb. I am very numb and afraid that I won't move on. I don't know. Perhaps I will, perhaps I won't. In any case, I've given up totally right now. At least I have something in my life to keep me occupied. Oh well, here's a little monologue to end all my ramblings.

Don't take it on board
Don't fall on your sword
Just play another chord
If you feel you're getting bored
I feel numb
I feel numb
Too much is not enough
I feel numb

Time

2009-03-23T19:36:00.002+08:00

"Time, I've been passing time watching trains go by all of my life.
Lying on the sand watching sea birds fly and wishing there would be someone waiting home for me."

Well. I guess that sorts of sums up my life waiting for someone and wishing there was someone. Perhaps I should start looking. Well I guess perhaps a little more active in looking.

Perhaps I've already found her but I don't know that she's there. Perhaps it takes a little more time for us to get to know each other and take it from there.

Time is a precious resource. Don't waste it. Money, you can always earn back your money; but time is one thing that you can never get back. =)

I am pressed but not crushed

2009-02-25T10:03:00.001+08:00

I am pressed but not crushed, persecuted not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed.
Its been a while since I've last blogged, so yeah. =)

安靜

2008-12-31T06:18:00.003+08:00

Why did she have to come into my life? How long do I have to wait? How long? I can't help but spend every waking moment thinking of her, how she is and what she's doing. Its not that I want to but I guess its something that just happens. Its been the longest time since I've thought of anyone like that. Its been so long. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I don't know. If you don't like me, let me know. At least I know that I should give up.

When I saw you for the first time, I thought that you were but some irritating little girl who was just an eye turner, ok well an airhead perhaps. When I got to know you more, I became afraid, afraid that I might just fall in love with you. I guess I did. You're not just an irritating little girl to me. You're much more than that. And yeah, I miss you lots. I really hope that you're doing fine. but well.

我會學著放棄你
是因為我太愛你

ClamWin and Spyware Terminator

2008-12-04T08:22:00.002+08:00

I don't usually recommend open source software to non-techies but I guess the above would be different. Spyware Terminator 2.3 was a big step forward but it was still difficult for non-techies to use. With Spyware Terminator 2.5 coming into play, its all good.

In case you don't know what i'm talking about above. ClamWin and Spyware Terminator are Antivirus and Anti Spyware software for Windows Platform respectively. They are both FREE software. ClamWin by itself does not have anti-spyware scanning and real time antivirus. Spyware Terminator by itself does not have antivirus scanning.

However, when you merge the two together, you get one really powerful tool that protects your computer. By the way, ClamWin merges with Outlook as well to protect your email.

Wish it did the same for thunderbird though. Anyway, here are the links to the websites.

http://www.clamwin.com
http://www.spywareterminator.com

虽然一个人

2008-12-04T00:01:00.003+08:00

虽然一个人
我并不孤独
在心中你陪我看每一个日出

我真的希望有这一天你能一起陪我看日出。但是现在我想我自己一个人看日出。慢慢的等你。我真的好想念你。但是。。。。

”我并不孤独“ 这句话是假的。我觉的非常的孤独。你几时才能有空来陪我呢？

Rules of being a System Administrator

2008-11-28T23:23:00.001+08:00

Wow 2 posts in well a few minutes. Perhaps its the off-time that leads me to do this. Well anyway, rules of being a System Administrator.

Ok well I was supposed to post this a few days back but well, somehow the post left it being edited now. I didn't have time to do it in short. haha.

1) Be mad
2) Be really mad
3) Be really really mad
4) reboot
5) pray hard
6) google is your best friend
7) get a life.

Family

2008-11-28T22:55:00.002+08:00

I've learnt over the past few months that there is nothing more important than family and friends. =) I guess true friends are the ones who really stick by you and help you when the chips are down. I guess sometimes, those whom you expect not to be true friends turn out to be the ones who really are.

I've taken this time to pause and wonder what life would have been if I hadn't taken the path I've taken. I guess it would be very much mundane and different. I've gained an older brother and an older sister. I've gained my family back too. I guess that's good right?

Its always about I and me isn't it? What about we? I guess i'm learning that. These few months I've learnt that we is good. We keeps me in check and gives me freedom. It is we. It is us. It is Him. Yeah.

Waiting, waiting, waiting, how long do I have to wait for. How long, how long must we sing this song. How long how long. Tonight, we can be as one tonight. I guess there are some things in life that are worth waiting for. Give people time and they'll surprise you. All you need is time. Perhaps I don't have that patience at times but this time perhaps I do.

Its been a few years to the day I started this blog and I never thought that I'd write here up till now really. Hope that you guys are still reading it. =) I guess some of you still do. Thanks guys. (and girls)

And yeah, I miss all my friends from Wollongong. Its been three years, I wish I had taken to time to communicate with you guys more.

The best is yet to be

2008-09-14T20:11:00.002+08:00

I was listening to one of my favourite songs by U2. I've found what i'm looking for in Jesus Christ actually. Its just that I believe the best is yet to be. That's why in a sense I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

---
I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you
Only to be with you

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls
These city walls
Only to be with you

But I still havent found what Im looking for
But I still havent found what Im looking for

I have kissed honey lips
Felt the healing in her fingertips
It burned like fire
This burning desire

I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was cold as a stone

But I still havent found what Im looking for
But I still havent found what Im looking for

I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
Well yes Im still running

You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Of my shame
You know I believed it

But I still havent found what Im looking for
But I still havent found what Im looking for
But I still havent found what Im looking for
But I still havent found what Im looking for...

Java and Financial Systems

2008-09-03T10:54:00.003+08:00

As mentioned on the web so many times, Java floating point arithmetic sucks. I have been using Java for a long time now and its been serving its purpose for me very well. Until I had to work on a financial system. Web based? yes. Disciplined and stable way to develop? Use Java...

Project - completed. Alas, a few days later.... accounts were short of a few cents. Beancounters are really particular about their dollars and cents...

In short to everyone, if you want to programme anything to do with maths.... DO NOT USE JAVA....

The first principle

2008-08-14T13:49:00.002+08:00

"Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it. "

I guess as educators we are all responsible for the people in our charge. We are not just educators, we are role models. We are teachers. As teachers, how are we teaching our charges? Are we setting a good example and leaving behind a good legacy for others to follow?

Who is a teacher? I guess everyone is, as parents, school teachers, music teachers, etc etc. We do have to set standards for our children to follow.

What is the way then a child should go? For that I am really unsure, however it is our job to help the child achieve the most he or she can with the path that he or she has chosen. It is also our job to discipline them if they should stray.

But not all children choose the right path in the beginning or some of them are slow starters. Do we have the patience to actually sit down with them and well point them in the correct way?

Your thoughts?

Adrian on TV

2008-07-23T21:19:00.003+08:00

Well, I guess a lot of people would have known this by now since everyone's been calling me. How did it happen? Its kinda funny. I was just sitting in starbucks mucking around with my mac. Hardy and Casey were there also. So May Wong just happened to be outside and she was looking for people to interview.

She literally walked into starbucks and well, I was asked to be interviewed. So yeah. Here's the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOmQsGNvCBw (Psst, right at the end)

Research

2008-07-15T08:00:00.003+08:00

I've always wanted to move into education but somehow am unable to. The simple reason would be that I am unable to get my PhD; or rather, I don't have enough money to pay for it and am involved in too many other things now.

I know that a lot of people have high hopes for me but I guess its not the right time at the moment. The other thing is this. My heart tells me that I'm not PhD material, or rather, that is not where my passion lies.

What I'm good that is solving problems for people. The only thing about this is that people like to make use of my compassion and "niceness" to get them lower prices. I don't mind giving them lower prices as long as they are reasonable enough.

What I do not like is that people unable to make a decision for a small budget within the 2nd meeting. Its really not worth going through all the trouble for them for X amount of dollars. If you want something done, please don't delay on your side also. You are wasting my time. I have better things to do. From now on, no more nice guy. I am worth $125 an hour right now. You pay for my time. (There are exceptions of course).

The other thing I don't like is well, doing something and it gets chucked away and I don't see the results of it making meaning for people. There is no meaning if the research you do just well.. does not get implemented and you don't see it making meaning in the lives of people.

Make meaning.

Medical Appointment

2008-07-09T18:22:00.002+08:00

I have a medical appointment tomorrow with the army doctor. I do hope to get excused for my ICT so that my life can go on normally... Well, it isn't normal at the moment still, my ankle still gives way now and then. Thank God that I can still walk.

This semester is finally coming to an end. Finally the final year projects can be marked. Well, as per normal, the usual standards apply. How badly do you want your marks? That really depends on how hard and how smart you work.

Its Gilbert's farewell service this weekend, it will be sad to see him go. But well, life goes on and the world moves on. Its been a good year. But then again, lets look towards the future. What does God have in store for us? We'll never know until we get there won't we? But what I do know is that God won't do anything to forsake us or leave us.

Love always hopes, preservers, and endures all things.

PS. The new semester is starting soon.. countdown begins arrrrghhhh

Focus

2008-07-05T22:02:00.003+08:00

Hmm somehow that is the topic of Zhengqin's sermon tomorrow. That was what Daniel spoke to me about to today. Darren spoke to me about it yesterday. I guess this would mean saying no to certain things and saying yes to the right things. i.e. Don't do too much or you'll burn yourself out.

I guess that would mean I have to focus on the core stuff. i.e. Besides God, my main priority right now is my business. I should spend more time and focus on it. My second priority is the church music team. Sad to say that my last priority is the uni. Although I really enjoy it and I love the students a lot but I am really burning myself out doing a lot of unnecessary things in uni.

So from now on, certain stuff. The answer is no. Sorry guys, but I will be a bastard this semester. Fail means fail. No appeals. It doesn't work means it doesn't work. No buts.

Wearing an ankle brace and other stuff

2008-06-26T01:50:00.002+08:00

Ok well, my ankle finally cried out for help. Its been this way for a while so it really sux. The tendons are swollen and I have to wear an ankle brace just to keep walking. I guess that makes me a "pai kar".

Semester is starting soon. I dread seeing all the students again (Just kidding). It will be fun to see them again. Sigh, another new intake. Hope they don't bore me too much. I do miss intake 1 and 3 irritating me. They've all grown up.. sob sob....

As per normal, a lot of people have been asking me "When are you getting a girlfriend?" I say I dunno lor. Hopefully dun wait too long. hahaha.

Business is good I guess. Every month got thing to eat can liao lah. Dun ask for too much. I guess living by faith is something that I'm experiencing right now. I pray that the Lord gives me just enough every month for my daily bread. I'll be contented with just that. Don't give me too much or I may forget You, don't give me too little or I may curse at You.

Off to bed now. Sweet dreams I hope. lol. =) Signing off.

The bus accident

2008-06-11T21:37:00.002+08:00

I went to Republic Polytechnic today to visit old friends. As usual, I was late but this time, its not my fault (for once). I went up the bus at Woodlands Interchange and.. well, it just happened to be a rainy day and the bus smashed into the wall. So well, cracked windscreen and a few injuries later I arrived at the polytechnic.

Well yeah, I'm still alive. Thank God. =) Other than that, well nothing much really happened today. In KL for the next few days. Can just contact me if need me on my mobile or email still. hehe.

What am I doing right now? Installing someone's laptop. sheesh. how boring.

People care don't they

2008-06-10T09:49:00.004+08:00

There are times in my life I do sit down to ponder about things. Today was one of them. This is what I was contemplating about. If my parents and friends weren't in my life, where would I be. A lot of times, I wished that you know my parents and some of my friends would stop nagging at me and irritating me. Then again, what's life without the irritation? People nag and irritate you because they care for you. Well most of them. Some are just there for the plain fun of irritation.

So well, if you're being irritated by some of your friends or some little kids or nagged at by your parents or elders. Just remember, they are doing it because they love you. =)

When they stop, it would be because either they've given up on you or they're dead. So learn how to appreciate them ok?

Living from day to day

2008-06-04T22:59:00.003+08:00

Well, I guess doing what I'm doing now requires a lot of faith. For the first time in my life, I feel helpless. I guess its living on faith that scares people away but living on faith is something that allows you to grow closer to God. Its not easy but well, I'm sure God will provide. There are many things about tomorrow that we don't seem to understand but if we know who holds tomorrow, I guess well yeah. =)

There's always a light at the end of every tunnel.

The Story Continues...

2008-06-02T00:18:00.002+08:00

I can't seem to think of good title's nowadays. So yeah, the story continues would be the title for this one. I was at KS's wedding yesterday. Everyone was so happy for him. I got to see a lot of old faces at the wedding. I didn't stay around to say hello though as I had to rush off to church. That's the story of my life I guess, always there and disappearing when my job is done. I've never stayed around longer than needed to be.

The musicians were all crying (well except myself, it takes a little more than that to get me to cry. As my students would say, Adrian is damn cold one sia....). We teased Ai Lin yesterday while she was crying but she's a really good sport so yeah. KS was Ai Lin's student in Sunday School so I guess perhaps that's why she cried the most yesterday.

The world may keep on changing but one thing remains constant and would be the love we have for each other. That would never change. That's what friendship is all about I guess.

Realization

2008-05-26T21:01:00.002+08:00

I've realized that I've been resting a lot recently. Perhaps its because God is preparing me for something that requires a lot of work. Well, then again perhaps its because I've been boggled up with so much work that I've had no time to rest at all. I guess it would be the latter.

As the Chinese saying goes, "Take a step back, and your view of the world will be much wider". Oh well, I'm just left with assignment 3 to mark and that's that.

放齐理想

2008-05-14T15:40:00.002+08:00

我好喜欢听的一首歌是 Beyond 的 ”海阔天空“。我每一次听了这首歌的时候，都会决得好象有人在鼓励我不要放齐心中的理想。我希望你们读了歌词以后，也会象我一样得到鼓励。

海闊天空 - BEYOND
曲︰黃家駒
詞︰黃家駒

＊今天我　寒夜裡看雪飄過
懷著冷卻了的心窩漂遠方
風雨裡追趕　霧裡分不清影蹤
天空海闊你與我　可會變〔誰沒在變〕

多少次　迎著冷眼與嘲笑
從沒有放棄過心中的理想
一剎那恍惚　若有所失的感覺
不知不覺已變淡　心裡愛〔誰明白我〕

＃原諒我這一生不羈放縱愛自由
也會怕有一天會跌倒
背棄了理想　誰人都可以
哪會怕有一天只你共我

重唱　＊,＃

仍然自由自我　永遠高唱我歌　走遍千里

重唱　＃

背棄了理想　誰人都可以
哪會怕有一天只你共我

重唱　＃

小小的见证

2008-05-13T21:49:00.000+08:00

每一个星期天，我通常会在华文聚会后到办工室去。我拜一到拜六也大多数在办工室里，都会早出晚归很少见到家人。

上个礼拜是母亲节也刚好是我弟弟的生日。所以我就没到办工室去。我就跟一些会友吃了午餐，之后就赶快回家，在回家之前我就想去买个蛋糕。可是我非常累就忍不足睡了。

当我起来的时后，已经六点多了！

我住在一个很偏僻的地防。多偏僻呢？那就要问淑莉姐妹了或俊明弟兄。

我家那儿只有一家蛋糕店。因为是母亲节，我就害怕店里没有卖蛋糕。

我的家人最喜欢吃的蛋糕是“黑森林”Black Forest。当我踏进店里的时侯，只剩下一个蛋糕而好奇妙的，是 “黑森林”蛋糕哦！

我要感谢主给了我这个机会来孝敬我的母亲和疼爱我的弟弟。

Virtualization

2008-04-26T10:56:00.002+08:00

Patience is a virtua. Well that was the tag line of "Virtua Fighter". For those of you old enough to remember playing it in the video game arcades with me. It was really cool wasn't it?

Well I guess Virtual Reality has come a long way since then. But today, we're talking about Virtualization. What is virtualization? In the words of Jonathan whom I spoke to the other day. Its fitting as many "servers" onto a piece of hardware as you can.

I've been playing around recently with a few virtualization technologies and I've come up with the right combination of virtual servers to hardware ratio. So what I did this week would be to virtualize an existing ERP system and an Email Server.

What happened is that the company had no money to buy 2 pieces of newer hardware. And well getting newer equipment would also mean raising existing costs. i.e. Electricity, cooling etc etc.

So what I did was this:

1) Upgrade the hard disk and RAM of an existing piece of hardware (Their ERP System which didn't really need all the server resources).

2) Create 2 virtual servers on the existing piece of hardware.
3) Migrate their email server and ERP system onto the virtual server.

So in essence, the company now has 2 servers on an existing piece of hardware. Upgraded of course. Crash? nahh Only quality equipment used. It will last for about another 2 to 3 years.

I got my money, and they saved a lot of money. So its all good.

Money

2008-04-13T18:54:00.002+08:00

Today I learnt that I am a stupid person. Today I learnt that people are willing to step all over you, break friendship, get into fights, blame you, make you the scapegoat, etc etc. Why? All over the thing called money. Relatives, Friends, it doesn't matter. I guess my philosophy of making the world a better place and making meaning means nothing to anyone I know does it? Its all crap. Money comes first, then talk.

Of course some people take things for granted. for example, some people think that we should do things for them for free because of family relations, religious issues. All of them are crap. People can sue you just because of this thing called money. So much for an outward show of devotion towards religion.

Fucking hypocrisy.

At Republic Polytechnic

2008-04-07T11:37:00.002+08:00

Well, I was at Republic Polytechnic last Friday to meet up with old friends and start a war again about technology. It was orientation when I was there. Kinda reminds me of my polytechnic days. Life was so simple back then.

Talk about a geek war when I was there. 10 geeks seated around a table and arguing about stuff. I met up with Joey after that. She's kinda nice and almost exactly like me. =) well... yeah. We were both too tired after marking papers and scolding the kids I guess to have a really proper conversation.

Oh well. I guess I'll meet up with her again some time soon.

transparentheart.biz

2008-03-26T22:38:00.003+08:00

Good to get as presents!! www.transparentheart.biz. Why transparent heart leh? Transparent means truthful lor. you are transparent before people. Then heart is sincerity lah.

So transparent and heart put together means truthful and sincere. So you want to get people present must be truthful and sincere. Where to get presents? Go this website lor.

For the regular visitors to my blog.. ok here's my post in proper english. Truthfulness and Sincerity in getting gifts. Go to www.transparentheart.biz. =)

All right see ya.

E-shop!!

2008-03-26T22:27:00.003+08:00

Ok guys, I found this really cool thingy online. Its like e-bay but perhaps a little different. Check this site out ok? Its just starting but I think its gonna be really neat in a while.

http://www.cartmomo.com

Give it a try yar? As for me, I'm trying it out right now. hehe. Free sign up is always a bonus. So how does the site make money. I don't know. Most probably from the advertisements lor.

Where got so good one you ask? Aiyah. So good lor. Why bother asking when something is free? Just take first lor, try try out. Since its free mah. If good then go back for more. Not free this time never mind at least you know its good right?

Mac Users

2008-03-21T22:31:00.001+08:00

The Cult of Mac. I guess its true after all. The community that exists that is. I was at the Apple Centre today after such a long while. I think I'd might just wanna ask them for a part time job. I can actually sell and demonstrate a Mac better than the sales person there...

I sold someone a Mac today and I wasn't even a staff on their payroll. There's a simple lesson to be learnt here. Why didn't the customer buy the Mac after listening to the sales staff but rather after listening to me?

The sales staff at the Apple Centre knows about Macs but I love them.

Many things..

2008-03-21T16:26:00.002+08:00

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately. One of the posts that I felt drawn to was the one that said that why bother posting when you have nothing to post. So well, from now on if there is nothing to post, then I won't post. =) hehe.

Well, nothing much I've been working on except meeting people from all walks of life. Speaking of walking, my ankle has been going swollen on and off for a while now. I saw a doctor yesterday and got a referral to a hospital. So yeah, hope everything is fine.

Other than that, I've been programming something that I will reveal in due time what it is. It is of course something that makes life easier for people.

So stay tuned...

The Convocation

2008-02-23T17:05:00.002+08:00

Well, it was convocation yesterday for my beloved intake 1 to 4. I had a mini dinner celebration with some of them after the convocation. Here's a picture of some of my beloved students. They are crushing me!! arrgh.

Marking and Music

2008-02-16T01:09:00.002+08:00

Here I am at 2 am in the morning, still marking my papers
Its so hard at 2am in the morning, to mark all these papers
And I know that it might seem to late for marking
All I know

I need to finish
Marking all these scripts
I need to finish
I've gotta find a way
I need to finish
Marking all these scripts
I need to finish.

Well, at least I'm on track.... A lot of things have been happening to me these 2 weeks. Its graduation next Friday. I hope to be there. It will be nice to see all of them again.

Its Chinese New Year

2008-02-06T09:10:00.000+08:00

Well, its finally Chinese New Year again. My Grand Uncle Ronnie came back from Canada to visit. Somehow, I feel closer to him than anyone else in my family even though its my first time seeing him. We both share the same ideals and character.

Class was good on Monday. I'm glad that the students enjoyed the class. I've been so busy preparing for class ever since the semester started that I've hardly had time or proper concentration to do anything else. Well, there are only 3 more weeks until class ends so its pretty fast. Yeah yeah, the university semester is different from others, at least my university.

Marilyn sent me an sms... It seems that I did not respond when she called out to me in public in the uni on Monday. oops. She must be mad. Well, my answer to that was that I was too tired from marking. Yeah.. its 150 scripts... Why does it have to be 150 everything I take this subject. sheesh. The last time I took this subject it was the same as well.

Which most probably means that there will be a boom of final year project students again.... speaking of which, the last time that happened was intake 3. My most beloved intake. sob sob. I miss them. All of them are doing so well now. That's good.

Finally, 20 more assignments to go.... and then I can start writing my comments for the Final Year Projects.

Greed

2008-02-01T08:11:00.000+08:00

Well, I guess the corporations have won again haven't they? Taking something that would be dirt cheap and making it filthy expensive and then causing the poor to not be able to buy something. Because its really good, the poor would have to try to get those things albeit illegally. What happens then? We get slapped with a fine. What really happens? The big corporations get the money. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.

I'm not saying that doing things illegally is right. What I'm saying is that taking something that would be dirt cheap and making it filthy expensive is unacceptable. Its just done out of greed. You may say that you're selling something good but you're just spoon-feeding us baby food, when we're hungering for steak. The bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic.

You murder, cheat and lie to us and try to make us believe that its for our own good, yet we're the criminals. Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like.
My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.

Teaching

2008-01-29T14:07:00.000+08:00

Teaching. Well, I teach in university and now I'm teaching keyboards in church. Aaron asked Wen Wen if she wanted to play the keyboards and so she said she'd try it out. So well, we gave her a song to practice at home 2 weeks ago and she came to church last Sunday to try out the song with us.

It didn't really work out at first cus' she plays the keyboards alone at home and you play as a team in church so its pretty different. And then.. Adrian came along and errm well, put her through her paces. After the lesson was over.. there was perspiration all over the keyboards. I think her husband is gonna kill me next week.

Lessons were good yesterday. A lot of assignment submissions. arrrgh. which means I have mark a lot of assignments...

I have found myself again

2008-01-18T19:55:00.000+08:00

I was throwing a lot of ideas to Casey today. It seems that I've sort of lost my soul and fire in a sense. I'm more concerned with wants rather than needs now of users. i.e. I program what users want and not what users need. I think Casey knocked some sense into me today. I'm back to programming what users need rather than what users want. I'm me again. Programming for people who "get it". Those who don't, I'll try to convert you, but in the long run.. life sux, you can't get all of them.

Jamming and meeting Chun Beng

2008-01-13T20:49:00.000+08:00

Aaron, Mei Zhan, Leoard and myself had a mini jam after service today. It was pretty cool. This was one of the longest jams I ever had. We played "Sweet Home Alabama" and I did a really nice solo over it. It was really fun.

Aaron and I then went with Chi Loong and family to funan centre shopping hehe. Nice place to go. I got to know Seok Li's brother Chun Beng. It seems that we have quite a bit in common. He's a really swell guy. We talked about lots of stuff under the sun today.

Anyway, time to sleep. I'm really tired.

Markus and Luke

2008-01-13T07:24:00.000+08:00

Well, Markus is the new guy teaching CSCI319 which is a new subject. He's a pretty swell guy. I took him out for dinner along with his wife Mandy last night at Fiona's place. I'm glad that they really enjoyed it. They went to the night safari after that. I think that they'll enjoy themselves too. =)

Luke is here with Janet finally. Their kids are here too. Janet had to go back suddenly due to some family reason. Their kids are really cute. They're just playful. Hotels should have some stuff for kids. A playroom where kids can be stupid and no one really cares.

Ok. off to church and tomorrow is all about making lots of phone calls.

Playing the Drums

2008-01-06T18:32:00.000+08:00

I went to chuch this morning as usual and suddenly remembered that the guitar strings were broken.. So well, Aaron said that I could play the bass or the keyboards. Angela was playing the piano so I saw no need for me to be on keyboards cus' she covers the rhythm and sustain very well. I opted to play the bass.

We discovered quickly that a bassist can't do without a drummer. i.e. No rhythm, there's only melody. So... Aaron who was supposed to be rostered for singing decided to take over the drums. But he was the leader and he can't sing and play at the same time... so therefore.. Adrian took over the drums.

Its actually not too difficult once you get the hang of it. and... I did keep timing. So its cool. That adds one more instrument to the list of stuff I can play properly. I have to get a hold of my strength though. i.e. if I hit the drum pads too hard, there's recoil, and my hands hurt if there's recoil. I need to learn how to control my strength when I hit the drums.

Other than that I guess Ivy's computer should be ok now. It was an Internet Explorer problem. =) We just switched to firefox and all is well.

New Year Post

2008-01-01T20:18:00.000+08:00

Well, this the first post of the new year. I met up with Ivy today. She's a friend of Angela and Rose. She's Rose's classmate from Duman High and has been coming over to church for a while. Anyway, met up with her to pass her her laptop. It was dying and I fixed it.

We had lunch at KFC. hehe. Free lunch for me!!!! My throat hurts now cus I had too much hot and spicy chicken. While we were having lunch, Ivy asked me a lot of questions about religion and stuff. So I answered her.

Its a new beginning tomorrow. Lots of people to meet. The evangelism has started.

2 days , 2 weeks

2007-12-23T23:13:00.000+08:00

2 days to Christmas. Personally, its a reminder for me that even though I am in darkness, there's a light that shines and gives me hope. It is a very special gift that has been given. In fact, not only me but to you as well, to everyone of us. As long as there is a light, we always have hope. I guess that's how no matter what situation I am in, I know that there is a light there and always look towards it.

If you don't understand whatever I'm trying to say above just remember these points:
- Christmas is about hope
- Christmas is about life
- Christmas is about giving

2 weeks to the beginning of the semester.... sheesh... hahaha. I was talking to Jason, one of the students earlier. He says that I somehow always do something new every semester. which is true.. oh well, learning something new is better than staying stagnant right?

Transparent Heart

2007-12-21T14:19:00.001+08:00

Well well, yeah as I promised Hui Jie. I'll put the link to her site on my blog. All right guys and gals take a look at www.transparentheart.biz

All the products are handmade using beads & Swaroski crystals. They look really really good. That being said, coming from me.. its definitely of a high standard. All of the stuff are made upon order.

So guys, if you're looking for a nice gift for your girlfriend, or girls if you're looking for some accessories, check her website out.

Stupidity and the Education System

2007-12-17T07:22:00.000+08:00

Well.. see this link before you read the rest of the post. http://www.uploadgeek.com/uploads456/0/1197784327416.png

If this can happen in an American school, I don't see why this can't happen in a Singaporean school. All these so called computer experts hired by our public sectors, I think most of them know next to nothing. All they can do is pull big terms out of the air and pull the wool over the eyes of unsuspecting decision makers.

I seriously wish that all these so called computer experts would be just wisked away with a snap. A good example would be one of the government ministries I dealt with recently. Their own IT department can't do security for nuts... i.e. SQL injection is a problem with the server operating system.. huh? What are they talking about? SQL injection is caused by BAD VALIDATION in their APPLICATION and NOT THE OPERATION SYSTEM.

Don't they even know their basics? What's even better is that the security company they hired to get a second opinion can't even find out an IP address... errm.. c'mon... what's "ping" for? sigh..

Programming Wars

2007-12-14T17:00:00.003+08:00

Recently, I've been reading about the web programming language wars. i.e. PHP vs ROR vs PYTHON vs PERL. Personally, I use PHP or Perl. A lot of people say that PHP is a broken language. I guess it is. However, it would be the people and not the language that make good programmes.

I've learnt a lot of things from ROR / PYTHON when I've used them. However, I've switched back to PHP simply because I prefer it. However, at the same time, after using ROR / PYTHON, I've implemented the concepts into my overall programming structure.

To all programmers out there, I would like to say that no matter what language you use, it is your basic programming concepts that matter the most. i.e. Error handling. and not the choice of languages. Use whatever language you want but just make sure that your concepts are correct. Keep it simple, keep it clean and readable.

The Future

2007-12-14T11:13:00.000+08:00

I don't know what the future holds next year. I guess no one knows what the future holds for them. However, the thing I am sure of is that I am firm in the hope that God has His plans and His ways are higher than mine.

In the meantime, I'll be marking assignments and reading about Distributed Systems all over again. I am thinking of writing one too. =) A fully distributed system. It will be used for teaching.

I met Prasojo on Wednesday and we went to watch Din play his guitar at George's mad bar. Pretty nice place. Will go there again.

The Sun Above the Clouds

2007-11-27T01:20:00.000+08:00

无论是住在美丽的高山，
或是躺卧在阴暗的幽谷，
当你抬起头，
你将会发现，
主已为你我而预备，

云上太阳它总不改变，
虽然小雨洒在我脸上，
云上太阳它总不改变，
阿。。它不改变

Tutorial and CSCI321

2007-11-24T19:32:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm accessor again for CSCI 321 project. Its heartening to see your own project being offered by the university in the project list. Project AC-01: Intelligent Spam Filter. Cool right?

There is quite a cohort this time. I don't get it as bad as Pak San did though. When he was accessor, there were the most students.

I do hope that all of them pass CSCI361 and CSCI322. I'll do my best to help them but well, after everything has ended and all the dust has settled, its really up to God.

Today's tutorial was pretty good. Most of them understood stuff. When the students are able to understand stuff, its always good.

Heroes

2007-11-18T17:00:00.001+08:00

I did this test on facebook today. hehe. Guess who I am?

You are "Hiro Nakamura"!

You are brave, courageous, and a loyal friend. And you'd be kind of boring if you didn't have superpowers. You are the unlikely hero. In fact, no one would suspect that you're a hero at all if you weren't freaking named Hiro.

YA DA!!!!!!!!

The end of another term

2007-11-18T09:03:00.000+08:00

Wow, that was fast. It seems just like yesterday that it was the end of another school term and now its the end of another one again. I think Computer Security or rather I'd like to call it Crytography and Coding is a rather difficult subject that kills a lot of students. I'm not sure what to say except that I've done my best in teaching them enough to do well for the subject.

This term signals the end of another year also. Its been 2 years since I started teaching. I'm not sure what the future holds though. I have no plans for next year yet. Nothing really fanciful but I trust that God will pull me through.

I felt really sick today so I didn't go to church. Had some time so I did up my acoustic guitar. Looks new now. =). It feels really good to play a guitar that's been done up properly.

I should find some time to do up my electric guitar next. Its been in cold storage for too long.

Programming

2007-11-08T12:42:00.000+08:00

Programming is an art not a science. C is positively one of the most compact languages in the entire world and is as close to a low level language as one can get in this day and age with the exception of assembly although some may beg to differ. You don't need a big book to learn C. You just need a small book. Big books tend to make things more difficult then they are.

Speaking of programming, well there are some students who post their assignments online and ask pay people to program for them. I guess they are not artists, and can't do art.

Oh yeah.. computer science basics are science.. I would agree but the rest of it is art. Most of what people deem as art. i.e. Movies etc. are sciences. If you're unsure why, drop me an msn or an email and i'll tell you why.

PHP is a hack. but its a very good hack. For all those who disagree that php is a hack too bad. I love php and hacks. But too many quick hacks cause many problems. So hack well.

New Semester, New Students

2007-10-31T21:17:00.000+08:00

There are always good students and bad students. There just so happens to be more good than bad. I guess that's what keeps me teaching. Although the really good are rare and difficult to find though. I have had the privilledge of knowing a few of them. It looks like this semester, we'll have a few more really good students again which is always nice. I'm confident that this semester will be a good one. Well, I don't really know what to blog about tonight, my head has been in a whirlwind over these past few weeks. I'm going to the hospital again tomorrow and then from there to work and then home and to work and university again and then home and then university again. haha.

I had a nice chat with Seok Li today. Been invited over the join their cell group. I'm kinda surprised that I know quite a few people in their cell group already which is always nice.

Little Edward is really cute. He was singing while I was playing the piano on Sunday. The practice for the performance went really well too. Its all good.

Ok, its time to do some programming and then prepare for lectures.

Programming and Friends

2007-10-23T00:09:00.000+08:00

Well, I've been going out for the past few days. Friday evening I met up with Kenny and Ling Ling, which is rare since I hardly go out. We had dinner at Hog's breathe and some ice cream at Hagaan Dazz (However you spell that).

Saturday night was a little more rare. After duty, I met up with Shan for dinner. Its been a long while since we've last met. The last time was in polytechnic I think. wow... that's long. Sunday was rest day. Headed to church and went home and slept and slept and slept.

And here I am on night shift on Monday night.

I've been doing some brushing up on my programming skills recently too. And semester's starting in about 5 days so yeah, I guess i'll have to.

ASP on PHP

2007-10-17T12:18:00.000+08:00

I had the privilege of learning that ASP coding can work on PHP scripts today. NOT! This is what happened.

Stupid person: Eh, how come I copy and paste this code onto the site cannot work ah?
Clever person: Let me check. Its because you are using ASP coding and you are copy and pasting it onto a php page.

Stupid person: Cannot meh? Can work one what. All is web programming.

Big Boss (standing behind them): yar lor, why you (clever person) so stupid! your code so buggy. cannot support ASP on PHP?

Clever person: .......

Facebook and Friends

2007-10-14T07:33:00.000+08:00

Hmm I'm finally on facebook and its pretty surprising that I somehow know so many people considering the fact that I don't go out very often. I guess I've met a lot of people during my course of work and during my travels. I think its a good tool for meeting old friends just like friendster but its a fad and will die off after a while. There are simply too many "facebooks" out there. In the long run, I guess only a few sites will survive.

Its always nice to have visitors. I had Ryan and Jaslyn come over yesterday to set up a web server and stuff and Jaslyn was there to accompany Ryan and ask some questions about her final year project. That's always sweet. I'm kinda jealous of them actually. hehe. They are a very nice couple.

All right, I'm actually working today so yeah, I'm off to work.